Usually I write with wine.
It's one of my favorite things, to sit down at the computer with a full glass of red wine and prepare to let my thoughts flow from my fingers.
It's not incredibly effective though, as evidenced by the lack of posts on this blog. I get distracted easily and end up abandoning the writing to talk to friends on Facebook. Still a great night, but not what I set out to do.
Today was a weird day. I didn't attend the memorial service for a college friend because I was convinced that I had a stomach bug. I struggled with his death--he was a great man, a great friend, a great husband, and he was so, so young. The illness that ended his life is still a mystery as far as I know. My heart aches for his wife, daughters, parents, siblings, and close friends. I will remember him always--he was a great listener.
Work was weird today. It was really hard to concentrate. There was that potential stomach bug thing (it was touch and go for a few minutes there) and it was hard for me to accept that Thanksgiving is only a couple days away and work was still so busy! Every other job I've had slows down around the holidays. My boss was gone too, so I was missing that added pressure of her constant calls and emails adding to my workload.
The heat is not working in my house and it's going to be cold tonight. I turned on my gas oven for a while and it heats up my place pretty well. (I have a studio apartment.) There is a strange clicking noise coming from the kitchen and I really hope it's not like in the movies, when there is a strange noise and then a big boom.
I'm half listening to a motivational phone call and it's not really hitting home tonight. It's okay, some days are like that. I didn't work out tonight and I didn't eat really healthy today. Thank God tomorrow is another day.
I think I'll wrap it up. My writing is not getting better and it just keeps getting later. The good news is that I'm no longer staring at a blank page.
This is my Shitty First Draft, as Brene Brown says. Not a great way to begin a blog, but I think it accurately reflects how scattered and uneasy I feel tonight.
Right then. Onward and upward.
